Embrace the nerd

We need more spaces in which we can just be our real selves without worrying about if it's something we can sell or get something out of. It's making our world a harder place to live.

I asked on the notes in Substack and on LinkedIn about the idea of coordinated nerdery. How can we build better spaces for people to just deep dive into whatever topic, without caring if it gets them revenue or leads, just because they love whatever it is they are talking about.

It feels like somewhere along the way, where it seems like so much of the internet is focused on what one can monetize, we lost the simple act of a loving info dump for the sake of it.

In thinking about this more over the past weeks, I’ve come to realize that there are perhaps some correlative aspects to this loss that are particularly tragic.

So, I’m going to go deep into this topic, talking about why going deep into a topic and letting others do the same might just help us get back to the world we need to see, and be the change we want to see in the world.

Erasing psychological safety for the sake of clicks

A few weekends ago, I got sucked into the television series related to Anne of Green Gables (the more recent Netflix one, and the one from 1985 - because when I focus, I hyperfocus).

I continually throughout felt that the character of Anne would have had a really hard time in today’s world for a number of reasons, and the other characters in the series underscored this perfectly.

When someone shares a niche interest, they are sharing a part of their inner self that’s a bit vulnerable, maybe nerve-racking, requiring some courage to put out there. They are giving a gift of their true selves by diving into their love of birding, or rocks, or video games. Or in Anne’s case, literature. The signal that this level of intensive information is too much or problematic erases the idea that we can share ideas without them being particularly thought out to the -nth degree. We create the need to be performative in this type of society rather than real-life interactions.

Some will label unbridled enthusiasm as ‘cringe’, making sincerity a dangerous thing to share. Mocking someone’s passion for something means we are saying that apathy is safer than caring about others and what they have to offer the world. And mocking isn’t where it stops, it turns into othering, dismissing, and ignoring. How much is not learned or left to be forgotten with this approach?

Loss of a third place

I used to love to go to the hardware store as a kid, it had a couch in the back and a coffee pot that seemed forever warming an ancient sludge that once resembled coffee.

The older men in town would basically hang out at the hardware store and BS most of the day. I always thought that was the coolest concept. They said everything and absolutely nothing. Sociologists often talk about “Third Places” as community spaces separate from home and work where people can connect.

Now in my town, there’s a certain tiny bar on the major throughfare that I pass when I go to the grocery store (or just about anywhere). I see the gentlemen in town who clearly have stories to share, nursing tiny beers and watching everything. Sometimes there is some hand flailing or what seems like an intense conversation. This happens at 10 in the morning, and goes until they close which seems to depend on when everyone goes home, not a true set time. I cannot understand the bits and parts I do hear because my Portuguese is still lacking.

Portugal has more Third Places to share stories like coffee shops and parks to just be human and connect than the United States, but the loss of a third place, particularly if one doesn’t have funds to enter and pay for coffee or beers, is disappearing.

When these places disappear or aren’t accessible, conversations move elsewhere. It moves to transactional places like networking events or algorithmic ones like social media. This results in these conversational places feeling like a constant state of one-upping one another for the outcome of a lead, a connection to use later, or being seen at all. Anyone who has ever had to post a “pic for algo” knows what I mean.

Stifling Innovation or Cross-Pollination

History is full of people that studied many different things that seemed ‘useless’ but integrated deeply into their careers and contribution to the world. Leonard DaVinci studied military engineering, sculpture and art, and anatomy.

Now there seems to be a sense of a ‘useless’ knowledge trap. We obsess over utility. If a topic doesn’t make money or solve an immediate problem, it is deemed a waste of time. But this is exactly where innovation can come from is that collision of two or three seemingly unrelated passions that someone took the time to go deep into. Not the only place, but if we cut off a known path of innovation, where does that leave us?

When we stop listening to people go into depth about things for the sake of it, and don’t support them just learning for the sake of it, like mycology, basket weaving, or video game structures, we lose the ability to understand how so many various things can give us a different viewpoint on our own lives.

There are so many other things about not being able to share freely and ‘nerd’ that hurt us. I could go on with many others, like the lessening of neurodivergent voices to our attention spans being shortened.

Leaving Gifts of Ourselves Unwrapped and Forgotten

When we deny people the space to speak on what they truly love, we create a much more beige or even grey world.

We teach people that joy or curiosity without a clear outcome is a burden and not a gift. We shut down the ability to hear others with different opinions and possibly find a middle ground.

This is where so many things that make us human die. Things that define us like art, discourse, and relaying emotions. The things that make us truly unique.

Perhaps like my ability, for instance, to just go completely HAM on this entire topic (and often, many others) with no real solution to the problem - just an observation for the sake of it. It’s not shiny and perfectly crafted, it’s certainly got errors in the approach/grammar that I’ll find as soon as I hit ‘post’. I started writing this post weeks ago and actually got fearful it made no sense.

And that’s exactly the point, sometimes it doesn’t have to make complete sense. Sometimes we can have thoughts that need to marinate in a public space to come to life a bit. So I’m going to post this and see what happens.

If you had a space to just go super nerdy on any topic of your choosing and had interested people who wanted to listen, what would you talk about?

I’d truly love to hear about it.